


Skam DC Season 4 Episode 6: I'll Never Be Enough

by skamDC (bramgreenfeld)



Series: Skam DC: Season 4 [7]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Gen, Multi, racism/islamophobia tw (clip 1)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bramgreenfeld/pseuds/skamDC
Summary: Safiyya Bashir knows that this is going to be one of the most important years of her life. Junior year is one of the biggest things that colleges look at, and she’s determined to make it count. It should have been easy - she was the clear frontrunner for editor of the school newspaper this year, and there certainly aren’t any distractions in her love life. What she never expected was opposition from someone she’d tried hard to ignore, the return of old friends from her past - and that she might actually have a chance with the girl of her dreams.
Series: Skam DC: Season 4 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918819
Kudos: 4





	1. MONDAY 12:53PM: A GIRL LIKE YOU

**Author's Note:**

> remember when i said that this season might not be as real time as the others? yeah

MONDAY, OCTOBER 19TH, 12:53PM

EXT. BASHIR HOUSE

Zoom in slowly on SAFIYYA'S window. We can see and hear her praying, although she seems to be both physically and mentally far away. We see brief flashes of social media posts from Friday - videos of the fight posted on Instagram, Snapchat, being sent through texts and DMs. People are saying that JAMEEL started the fight, that CALLUM just happened to be there. There are rumors being spread about SAFIYYA as well, people believing that she was fighting alongside JAMEEL, or just that she did nothing to stop the fight.

INT. BASHIR HOUSE, SAFIYYA'S BEDROOM

Smash cut to SAFIYYA lying on her back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling fan as it slowly rotates. NALA has entered the room, jumping up to curl up next to her.

SAFIYYA'S phone vibrates. She props herself up on one arm, picking up her phone off of her nightstand and reading a text from her mother: "Are you feeling any better? Are you going to school tomorrow?"

SAFIYYA reads the text over and over again, considering. Finally, she responds - "A little, I'm still kind of stuffed up though"

SAFIYYA'S MOTHER responds with: "I think you'll be fine for school."

All We Do by Oh Wonder begins to play as SAFIYYA finishes reading the text. She doesn't respond to it, sitting up and dangling her legs off of the edge of the bed. She opens up Instagram and scrolls down her DMs, all the way down to fall 2018. The first one she clicks says "we dont need a girl like you at pb". SAFIYYA barely reacts, her expression barely changing. If anything, she becomes more stoic.

She clicks out of the message and reads another DM: "you can delete comments all you want, you still know what people are saying", followed by "you still know that we want you out". 

The camera moves so that we can no longer see the comments, only SAFIYYA'S blank expression. The camera zooms out until we are outside her window and we can hardly see her anymore. 


	2. TUESDAY 1:12PM: SAY IT TO MY FACE

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20TH, 1:12PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, JOURNALISM CLASSROOM

SAFIYYA enters the classroom just as the bell rings. MS. ROBINS smiles at her, and she forces herself to smile back as she hurries to her seat. SAFIYYA looks over at NADIA as she sits down.

SAFIYYA  
(quietly)  
Hey. Is Kayvan doing okay?

NADIA nods.

NADIA  
He's fine.

SAFIYYA lets out a sigh of relief.

SAFIYYA  
Good.

NADIA glances over at her, considering. 

NADIA  
Thank you. For asking, I mean.

SAFIYYA  
Of course. Why wouldn't I ask?

NADIA shrugs. NIA leans over to talk to SAFIYYA.

NIA  
Hey. Glad you're back.

SAFIYYA  
Thanks. What did you do yesterday?

NIA  
Just started pitching articles. We're probably going to assign them today.

SAFIYYA  
Did Ms. Robins do it?

NIA  
Um, actually - 

There's a clattering sound from the back of the classroom as MATT noisily pushes his chair out and stands up.

MATT  
Okay, does anyone else have any articles that they want to pitch, or can we just start assigning?

SAFIYYA shoots a bewildered look at NIA. NIA shrugs.

NIA  
(whispered)  
Ms. Robins asked for volunteers and he was the fastest.

SAFIYYA  
(whispered)  
Of course he was.

She stands up.

SAFIYYA  
Um, I'm back. I can do assignments.

MATT shrugs.

MATT  
Yeah, I guess, but you don't know anything that was pitched.

SAFIYYA  
Did you write it down?

MATT  
Nah, I just remember it all.

SAFIYYA  
You're supposed to be it on the spreadsheet.

MATT  
Yeah, but I didn't. Whatever. It'll be fine.

SAFIYYA  
Not if I'm supposed to assign articles.

MS. ROBINS  
Hey, guys?

Both MATT and SAFIYYA turn to look at her.

MS. ROBINS  
I actually think that you should take a day to catch up, Safiyya. Maybe let Matt take this one. 

SAFIYYA frowns.

SAFIYYA  
But I'm the editor.

MS. ROBINS  
I know, and this is why we don't like editors to have frequent absences. That's why we have the rule about how someone else can campaign after you miss three classes.

SAFIYYA  
I only missed one day! I was sick, I couldn't help it!

MATT  
(quietly)  
Sure, you were sick. Not just hiding from talking about the fight.

A few of the other classmates snicker. MS. ROBINS doesn't seem to notice, but SAFIYYA does, whirling around to face him.

SAFIYYA  
Can you just say it to my face?

MS. ROBINS holds her hands out, trying to be diplomatic.

MS. ROBINS  
Hey. No need to get upset.

SAFIYYA  
(clearly upset)  
I'm not upset.

MATT  
Then it's okay if I assign articles, right?

MS. ROBINS nods, and after a moment, SAFIYYA does too, sitting back down. NIA looks over at her, concerned.

NIA  
Are you okay?

SAFIYYA  
I'm great.

She glances back at MATT.

SAFIYYA  
I fucking hate him.

NADIA  
Same.

NIA nods.

NIA  
Me too. But Safiyya...you know it's okay to not be in control sometimes. 

SAFIYYA shrugs.

SAFIYYA  
Yeah. I guess.

She leans backwards in her chair. MATT is still speaking behind her, but she refuses to look back at him, refuses to give him the attention that he desires - and that she, in a way, craves as well. 


	3. WEDNESDAY 12:12PM: CHANGE THE SUBJECT

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21ST, 12:12PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, CLASSROOM

SAFIYYA, again, enters the classroom just as the bell rings. She sighs, irritated at the lost time. She sees the girls sitting together in a corner and walks over to them.

SAFIYYA  
Hey.

She sits down.

THEO  
Hi - oh, hey Jude.

WILLA laughs. SAFIYYA turns around to see that JUDE has entered behind her.

SAFIYYA  
Were you following me?

JUDE  
Um, not on purpose. Sorry, I know that was kind of creepy.

SAFIYYA  
Kind of?

JUDE cringes.

JUDE  
Yeah...sorry again.

He looks over at HOLLY.

JUDE  
Can we talk?

HOLLY points at herself.

HOLLY  
Me?

JUDE nods.

JUDE  
Yeah. I'm just wondering where Theo's been. Like, you know that he hasn't been here for the last couple of days, and he won't answer my texts...

JUDE is speaking quickly - he's clearly worried, despite his attempt to stay composed. SAFIYYA doesn't look at him, her face turning to stone.

HOLLY  
Yeah. Um, he hasn't been feeling well.

JUDE  
Hasn't been feeling well how?

HOLLY thinks for a moment, then stands up. She grabs JUDE'S arm and steers him to another part of the room, away from the girls. KEIRA sits up taller, watching them, and then turns back to the girls.

KEIRA  
That has to be about the fight, right?

THEO  
Oh, nice rhyme.

WILLA  
What about the fight?

SAFIYYA looks down at the ground. She's taken her lunch out of her bag, but doesn't seem interested in eating it.

KEIRA  
Like, we've all seen the videos. And Safiyya, you were actually there - his boyfriend got beat up. And Theo looked really upset about it, did you see the look on his face?

SAFIYYA shakes her head.

SAFIYYA  
Um, no, I was too busy trying to get his boyfriend away from my brother.

WILLA  
What even happened? It seems like it came out of nowhere. I mean, I've only met Jameel a few times, but it doesn't seem like something he would do.

SAFIYYA  
Because it isn't. Callum started the whole thing. 

THEO  
He did?

SAFIYYA  
Do you think I'm lying or something?

THEO looks startled.

THEO  
I didn't mean it like that, I - 

SAFIYYA nods solemnly.

SAFIYYA  
No, I know you didn't. Sorry that I snapped, I just...I'm sick of all the rumors, you know? Jameel didn't do anything. Callum...Callum hit Kayvan first, actually. You know, the guy Theo was singing with. Then I went outside and it was Callum and Jameel. I think maybe Jameel was defending him, or something.

KEIRA nods.

KEIRA  
Was Callum jealous, or something?

THEO shrugs.

THEO  
Maybe. But I don't think he'd do something that mean. Theo says that he's really happy with him, they really love each other.

SAFIYYA  
I mean, he's always been kind of a dick.

WILLA shakes her head.

WILLA  
Not when it comes to Theo.

SAFIYYA, thinking back to what she witnessed at the party in episode two, looks unsure.

SAFIYYA  
If that's what Theo's been telling you.

HOLLY walks back over to the group, sitting back down next to WILLA. JUDE has left the room. 

HOLLY  
What are we talking about?

KEIRA  
The fight on Friday.

SAFIYYA frowns.

SAFIYYA  
Can we change the subject, though? Like, I'm really sick of it by now.

HOLLY nods.

HOLLY  
If you ever want to talk about it, though...we're here.

SAFIYYA manages a small smile, the first since Friday.

SAFIYYA  
Thanks.

HOLLY  
And if you want to change the subject, I've been meaning to ask - what do you have to do with the frog that's been living in Kai's bedroom?

SAFIYYA  
Oh, that's our bio project.

WILLA  
Your bio project is a frog? Like, a whole frog?

HOLLY  
I mean, it's not a half frog.

THEO  
That's what happens when you dissect them.

SAFIYYA  
We have to keep it alive until two weeks from yesterday and take notes on its progress and how it adapts to the habitat we made for it. We have to keep an eye on the plants in its habitat, too.

HOLLY  
Why does he have it, though?

KEIRA  
And what happens to it in two weeks? You're not going to dissect it, are you?

SAFIYYA  
Um, no - if he doesn't want it I think we're going to just send it back into the wild. And we're splitting custody of it, I'm taking it on Friday.

THEO  
Does it have a name?

SAFIYYA  
No?

WILLA  
Does it want a name?

SAFIYYA  
It's a frog, I don't know. I haven't asked it.

KEIRA  
I think you should call it Beans.

SAFIYYA is startled into a laugh.

SAFIYYA  
Why Beans?

KEIRA  
I just think it's a good frog name!

THEO  
Oh, you know what's really funny? When you name things after nouns. Name it, like, Pants or something.

The girls all start laughing.

HOLLY  
Not Pants!

WILLA  
Yes! Pants!

Close-up on SAFIYYA as she laughs - she's ignoring all of the conflicts that are happening, forcibly shutting them away, but at least she's smiling.


	4. THURSDAY 1:00PM: GLORY

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22ND, 1:00PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, HALLWAY

SAFIYYA is walking down the hall towards the journalism classroom. She slows down once she gets closer, beginning to hear voices from inside the classroom. She stands next to the doorway, peering inside. MATT, ETHAN, and a few other students are sitting at their usual spot towards the back of the classroom. NIA and NADIA are also in the room, but they're sitting away from them, looking at something on a laptop.

SAFIYYA is about to enter the room when MATT begins to speak.

MATT  
I mean, we know what has to happen, right?

ETHAN nods, barely paying attention.

ETHAN  
I don't really know what you're going to do.

MATT  
I don't either, that's why I'm asking you guys. We could frame her for something?

ETHAN  
You're making it sound like a spy movie.

MATT  
Dude, you're not helping at all. 

One of the other students, LAUREN, speaks up.

LAUREN  
You could say something about newspaper sales - or newspaper engagement, whatever we call it - being down.

MATT  
It goes down _every_ year. No one reads the fucking paper.

ETHAN  
Then why do you want to be editor so bad?

MATT  
Come on, bro, do you seriously want _Safiyya_ to be editor?

SAFIYYA'S eyes widen as she begins to realize what they're talking about. She steps closer to the doorframe - the students in the classroom could see her now if they bothered to look.

In the classroom, ETHAN shrugs.

ETHAN  
Honestly, I don't really care.

MATT  
Then start caring.

ETHAN doesn't respond, looking back at his laptop. MATT sighs.

MATT  
Come on guys, really. I know that you want to get rid of her too. She has no idea what she's doing. She just wants the glory of having some kind of recognition. You know, since she's pretty much nothing outside of here.

NIA finally seems to hear MATT, looking over her shoulder at him. NADIA follows her gaze. However, neither of them speak, doing nothing to defend SAFIYYA and instead turning back to the laptop they were looking at.

In the hallway, SAFIYYA'S eyes fill with tears. She turns around and begins to walk back down the hallway. The bell rings and crowds of people begin to spill out into the hall, concealing SAFIYYA among them. 


	5. THURSDAY 3:00PM: PLEASE LET ME IN

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22ND, 3:00PM

INT. BASHIR HOUSE, FOYER

SAFIYYA enters the house, taking her shoes off and hanging up her jacket. Her shoulders are slumped, all of her energy gone. She takes out her phone and begins to look through people's Snapchat stories.

The door opens again and JAMEEL enters.

JAMEEL  
Hi.

SAFIYYA  
Hey.

SAFIYYA notices that she has a memory from a year ago. She opens it, seeing a photo of the girl squad in season 1. She can't bring herself to smile at it the way she usually would - instead, it seems to make her even more upset.

She closes out of the photo, looking at the rest of her memories. The most recent are from karaoke, right before everything went to shit. A lump forms in her throat, and she blinks rapidly.

JAMEEL  
Didn't you have some big newspaper thing coming up?

A tear slips down SAFIYYA'S cheek. She attempts to wipe it away before JAMEEL notices, but she is unsuccessful. JAMEEL instantly becomes concerned.

JAMEEL  
Are you okay?

SAFIYYA shakes her head furiously, then turns around, walking quickly down the hall to her bedroom. JAMEEL follows her just as quickly.

JAMEEL  
Safiyya, what happened?

She manages to beat him to her bedroom, slamming the door in his face.

INT. BASHIR HOUSE, SAFIYYA'S BEDROOM

SAFIYYA locks the door and leans against it, tears streaming down her face. JAMEEL comes to a stop outside, knocking on the door.

JAMEEL (O.S.)  
What's going on?

SAFIYYA  
It's nothing!

JAMEEL (O.S.)  
It's obviously something!

SAFIYYA shakes her head, forgetting for a moment that he can't see her.

SAFIYYA  
Everything is falling apart right now, okay?

JAMEEL is silent and still for a moment, then jiggles the doorknob again.

JAMEEL  
Please let me in. I'm worried about you.

SAFIYYA says nothing, but she begins to cry harder. Outside, JAMEEL'S footsteps can be heard. SAFIYYA moves to sit on her bed, putting her head in her hands.

Suddenly, there is a knock on her window. She jumps, her tears stopping just for a moment when she sees JAMEEL standing outside.

SAFIYYA  
What the fuck, Jameel?

JAMEEL says something, but it's extremely muffled. He mimes lifting something. SAFIYYA looks confused until he tugs on the window, then goes over to open the window so that she.can hear him.

SAFIYYA  
What the fuck -

JAMEEL  
Yeah, I understood the first time you said it. Look, you don't need to tell me what's going on or how you're feeling. I just don't want you to be alone when you're like this, or at least I don't want you to feel like you're alone. Because, you know - when you're sad, I'm sad.

SAFIYYA just stares at him for a moment, tears beginning to fill her eyes again. She steps aside and helps JAMEEL climb through the window. He hugs her as soon as he gets his balance. She leans her head against his shoulder as Ladder Song by Lorde begins to play.


	6. FRIDAY 12:59PM: THEY DON'T SEE ME

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23RD, 12:59PM

INT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, LIBRARY

The song continues over a shot of SAFIYYA sitting at a computer, typing furiously. Her face is expressionless, intensely focused on whatever it is that she is working on.

There is a close-up shot on her face, so that we cannot see who is coming up behind her.

KAI (O.S.)  
Safiyya?

She doesn't seem to hear him.

KAI (O.S.)  
Safiyya? Hello? Are you there?

He finally seems to get through to her. She turns around to face him.

SAFIYYA  
What's up?

KAI  
You're coming over after school to pick up Pants, right?

SAFIYYA frowns.

SAFIYYA  
Pants?

KAI  
The frog.

She sighs.

SAFIYYA  
You're actually calling it that. Of course.

KAI  
It's a great name. Straight to the point.

SAFIYYA  
What point?

KAI doesn't respond. It takes SAFIYYA a moment to realize that he is looking over her shoulder at her computer screen, reading what she has written.

SAFIYYA  
What the fuck are you doing?

She turns back to the computer, minimizing the tab, but the damage is already done.

KAI  
You're resigning from the paper?

SAFIYYA  
It's none of your business.

KAI  
But that's your _thing_. You love it, and you're really good at it. Why are you quitting on it now?

SAFIYYA  
Because I don't "love it" anymore, okay? Because - because ever since I started trying to take charge, everyone's just looked down on me, saying that I'm only doing it because I want power or whatever, and I know that they wouldn't be saying that if I weren't a Black Muslim girl. And ever since the fight, everything's just been complete shit, everyone thinks that I had something to do with it or it's my fault somehow, and I can't stand the way everyone looks at me - is that enough reason for you?

SAFIYYA'S voice has gotten steadily louder while she speaks, loud enough for a few glances to be sent her way. She looks startled at herself when she finishes speaking - she hadn't meant to say all that, hadn't meant to go that far.

KAI'S expression hasn't changed. He looks around at the other people in the library.

KAI  
Do you want to go somewhere else?

SAFIYYA  
We have class in a few minutes.

KAI  
No offense, but it doesn't really sound like you want to go.

SAFIYYA considers it, then nods reluctantly.

EXT. BUCHANAN HIGH SCHOOL, ROOFTOP

SAFIYYA steps out onto the roof, KAI following her.

SAFIYYA  
How did you find this place?

KAI  
Long story. I come up here whenever I need some time alone. Or if I just need a private place to talk to someone.

SAFIYYA  
And you've never been caught?

KAI shakes his head.

KAI  
No one ever really looks over here.

He goes to sit down on the edge of the roof. SAFIYYA joins him.

KAI  
So, what's going on?

SAFIYYA lets out a deep breath.

SAFIYYA  
I overheard Matt planning to overthrow me as editor somehow.

KAI  
Really? What a dick.

SAFIYYA  
Yeah, he's the worst. 

KAI  
But...I don't understand why you're just stepping down instead of fighting back. 

SAFIYYA  
I think you do.

KAI  
What do you mean?

SAFIYYA  
Don't you ever just get tired of constantly having to defend yourself? All I'm doing is trying to do what I love, what I'm passionate about, and I can't even do that without being criticized or looked down on. People look at me and they don't see me, they see my hijab, and they think I'm being forced to wear it or that I'm brainwashed or something. And with the fight, that just makes everything worse. People think I'm either violent or that Jameel is somehow oppressing me. Fucking Jameel. It's either I don't have my own opinions or I'm a fucking terrorist. And like, I have opinions, you know that. I have so many opinions. But they're not the right ones. They're too Muslim or too American, and I'm too much of both - no, that's not it. It's not that I'm too much. It's that I'm not enough. I'll never be enough.

KAI shakes his head.

KAI  
Who are you trying to be - 

He does air quotes.

KAI  
\- enough for?

SAFIYYA looks taken aback by the question. Eventually she shrugs.

SAFIYYA  
I don't know. The world, I guess. 

KAI  
You don't owe the world anything. And if it feels like you do, then that's their problem.

SAFIYYA frowns.

SAFIYYA  
Kai...

KAI  
Just...just hear me out for a minute okay? I know that I don't know exactly what you're going through. But, like...I'm a Black, gay, trans dude, and people have given me a lot of shit for that. And I used to try to brush it off and try to be someone else, someone that people like that would like. Someone that would be enough for everyone. But that person wasn't me. I fucking hated that guy.

SAFIYYA is startled into a laugh. Kai smiles too.

KAI  
You like yourself, right?

SAFIYYA  
I guess. As much as I can like myself, anyway. I just don't like how other people see me.

KAI  
Yeah, but fuck them. It took me a really long time to figure this out, but - you don't need to be enough for anyone but yourself. 

SAFIYYA shakes her head, but she's smiling now - just slightly, but it's enough.

SAFIYYA  
You're a lot wiser than you look, you know?

KAI  
Do I not look wise?

SAFIYYA  
That's not the first word I would use to describe you, no.

KAI looks over at her and can't quite hide a laugh. SAFIYYA'S smile grows wider.

SAFIYYA  
What?

KAI  
Nothing, it's just - who would have thought when we first met that we would end up best buds.

SAFIYYA  
Um, we're not best buds.

KAI  
Fine. We're at least buds, though.

SAFIYYA sighs playfully.

SAFIYYA  
Fine. We're buds.

KAI nods.

KAI  
Yeah, we are. 

He holds out his fist, and SAFIYYA bumps it with her own. We see a shot of them from the back as Quiet Motions by mxmtoon begins to play.

CUT TO END CREDITS AS SONG CONTINUES.

**Author's Note:**

> to see this season's playlist, the characters' instagrams, and get a link to the skam dc discord, head to my tumblr @skamdc


End file.
